An insurance claims is never a funny thing, but sometimes you do have to smile.  No one was hurt in the making of this post.  These are actual statements from various claims reports:

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
3. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
4. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
5. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
6. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
7. In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole.
8. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

  9. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
10. I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
11. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
12. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
13. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
14. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. 
15. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
16. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
17. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.